And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
