I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
whose parrot is this?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize