I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You were trust falling into bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize