they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize