Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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