you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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