OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him