just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?