Is that why you're texting me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.