Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...