You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.