Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize