4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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