I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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