I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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