Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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