well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just want nice things and good sex
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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