I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
