the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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