I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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