If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
