I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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