if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
should my penis look like a turkey
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
