as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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