even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When are your genitals available?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
