This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
