Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
