At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
