Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
