Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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