ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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