when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize