Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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