You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
