So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?