Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1873) Bad night (731)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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  (715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that. http://tfl.nu/f05r
  Replies (7) Good night (1482) Bad night (5573)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  he asked me to smell his eyeballs.

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  (319): he asked me to smell his eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/b2rr
  Replies (20) Good night (1121) Bad night (5208)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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  (404): Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash... http://tfl.nu/kodu
  Replies (10) Good night (981) Bad night (4872)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.

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  (732): people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself. http://tfl.nu/7r6x
  Replies (11) Good night (1409) Bad night (2971)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

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  (281): It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly. http://tfl.nu/y0mx
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (2071)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

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  (201): When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q4p2
  Replies (2) Good night (2169) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school

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  (419): currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school http://tfl.nu/rwvm
  Replies (16) Good night (4205) Bad night (1658)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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  (402): At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar. http://tfl.nu/wx7w
  Replies (3) Good night (1491) Bad night (719)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home

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  (262): I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home http://tfl.nu/e4lh
  Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?

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  (845): Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ? http://tfl.nu/zpud
  Replies (8) Good night (1557) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

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  (646): I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes... http://tfl.nu/1uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (476) Bad night (1398)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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  (250): You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is. http://tfl.nu/r86g
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.

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  (231): Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool. http://tfl.nu/mwvh
  Replies (13) Good night (498) Bad night (799)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong

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  (319): the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong http://tfl.nu/dbma
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (242)

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