he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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