Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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(832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me

Replies (16) Good night (3054) Bad night (606)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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(202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c

Replies (111) Good night (2355) Bad night (35949)
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(530): View more from California

69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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(530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq

Replies (31) Good night (675) Bad night (6512)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.

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(901): guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching. http://tfl.nu/ljur

Replies (21) Good night (1809) Bad night (8284)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.

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(970): I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that. http://tfl.nu/622i

Replies (20) Good night (2374) Bad night (4638)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

(734): View more from Michigan

hooker boots and all?

(313): View more from Michigan

Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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(313): I did the walk of shame to church this morning. (734): hooker boots and all? (313): Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway. http://tfl.nu/9ht9

Replies (14) Good night (7121) Bad night (941)
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(716): View more from New York

You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70

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(716): You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70 http://tfl.nu/w9g2

Replies (13) Good night (6151) Bad night (960)
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(513): View more from Ohio

i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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(513): i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week. http://tfl.nu/8le3

Replies (14) Good night (6999) Bad night (1433)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.

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(312): Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/nsh1

Replies (5) Good night (2621) Bad night (1132)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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(423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud

Replies (7) Good night (2019) Bad night (730)
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(661): View more from California

Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.

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(661): Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears. http://tfl.nu/33uz

Replies (7) Good night (2264) Bad night (576)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Did you sleep with him again?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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(978): The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me. (1-978): Did you sleep with him again? (978): No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me? http://tfl.nu/swvn

Replies (5) Good night (380) Bad night (903)
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(408): View more from California

look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.

(1-408): View more from California

eating on the run again ?

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(408): look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags. (1-408): eating on the run again ? http://tfl.nu/uddy

Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (303)
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(909): View more from California

Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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(909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr

Replies (6) Good night (625) Bad night (320)
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(269): View more from Michigan

After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.

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(269): After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book. http://tfl.nu/qxs9

Replies (0) Good night (209) Bad night (337)

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