i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want to ride his face like a jet ski