Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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