She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
