That's intense
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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