definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There's even glitter on my cock...
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