i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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