ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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