nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
