If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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