Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
