Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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