I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
