summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
