Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
