I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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