no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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