I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.