There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?