We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.