i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
