Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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