I just cut my nipple shaving
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
