so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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