What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
