I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
