How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
