i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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