Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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