just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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