I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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