how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
