proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
