My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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